5 Things Not To Do To Your Vagina

Vaginas are considered “complicated” to say the least. No worries, here at Yarlap® we want to make the vagina a little less complicated through the promotion of healthy activity and positive self-esteem. Unfortunately, some women, in an effort to boost their health and self-esteem, resort to practices which are about as healthy as a double cheeseburger. Check yourself before you wreck yourself; here are five things your vagina is better off without.



Enter the Twilight Zone with me for a second. Yes, using this popular vaginal cleaning method will actually make you less clean in the long run, as douching messes with the (good) bacteria in your vagina and increases the risk of infection. The vagina's natural acidity already does a good job of tidying up, so tell that douche to take a hike!

Oil-based Lubricant

Just don't. It's thick and gross. Anyone who's worked as a dishwasher will tell you how hard cleaning oil can be, even something like olive oil. It's more likely to stick around and provide a feeding ground for foreign bacteria, while the other chemicals may irritate. Stick to good ole' water-based lube instead!


Cucumbers, bananas, squash, and zucchini have a familiar shape. We all know someone who's looked at one of those foods for something more than the nutritional content. However healthy they are to eat, fruits and vegetables may have the opposite effect when inserted into the vagina. Even after washing the food, certain kinds of pesticide, which can cause irritation and infection, likely still remain. Should any bit of the fruit or vegetable break off, it could get stuck and eventually rot.

Whipped cream/Chocolate syrup

Why anybody would want to turn their vagina into a sundae is beyond me, but I'm not here to judge. The sugar in whipped cream and chocolate syrup is a feeding ground for yeast and other foreign bacteria. These treats may make your vagina sweet at first, but it'll end up sour.

Jade Rocks (or Eggs) 

For those of you familiar with the Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow, you probably know where this is going. Gwyneth's lifestyle website, titled GOOP, has a lot of questionable advice on the vagina, ranging from inserting jade eggs (to enhance your “chi” and “feminine energy”) to vaginal steaming. We strongly encourage you please rethink these tip. Jade is a porous rock (it has a bunch of little holes). This means that these little holes could be a little hiding places for all the gross bacteria hiding in the nooks of those jade eggs (so think bacterial infection or Toxic Shock Syndrome), or the burns and inflammation that could result from vaginal steaming.

Your vagina is fantastic. Every vagina has its own look (so a “normal” vagina really doesn’t make sense). Just keep your lady parts clean by using plain, unperfumed soaps to wash the area around the vagina. Anything strong smelling or funky? Ask your doctor!

Charlotte BeeComment